Breakeven
by Forever Greaser Forever Golden
Summary: When a heart breaks, no it don't break even.


**'m still alive but I'm barely breathing,  
>Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,<br>'Coz I got time while she got freedom,  
>'Coz when a heart breaks<br>no it don't break even.**

Every day, I feel the same way. I can put on a smile, I can laugh, and I can live. But every day, I hide a frown, a tear, a break down, and doubt. She was mine; I thought we were right for each other. I thought we would last, get married, and grow old. But I was wrong.

I don't know how she makes it. I don't know if she moved on. I didn't; I couldn't. No girl could compare to Sandy. No words could describe her. She was my love. I gave her my heart; I trusted her. I loved her like no other thing in the world.

I let my heart fall into the wrong hands. She had it grasped, me under her spell. In an instant, she broke it. In simple words, was all it took to break it..

"_Sandy, you know I love you right?" I knew I had made the right decision. She loved me, and I loved her. I wanted her to be mine; forever._

"_Yes, Soda, I do." She smiles her beautiful smile I love. Every time I was down, she would be there to brighten my day._

_I smiled back, and looked her in the eye. "Sandy, I love you so much, I can't describe it. I know I ain't the best guy, but I treat you like a girl should be treated."_

_She smiled, but she also had a confusing look. "Soda, I know this! Why are you saying this? Is something wrong?"_

"_No Sandy, I just.." I took her hands. "Sandy, I love you! I want you to be mine forever."_

_She didn't respond._

"_I want to marry you."_

_She looked at me with disbelief. "Are you serious?"_

"_Of course I am!" I said, rather louder, and spoke softer, "I love you, Sandy. I. love. You. I want you to be mine forever, and always."_

_She said nothing. She stared at me, leaving the question to linger in the air. _

"_Sandy?"_

"_**No**__."_

A simple word to break a heart, which fell into the wrong hands.

**Her best days will be some of my worst,  
>She finally met a man that's gonna put her first,<br>While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping,  
>'Coz when a heart breaks<br>no it don't break even, even no.**

I can't get her smile out of my head. Her smile could light up a pitch –black town, no doubt. She was always happy, loving.

She wasn't like any other girl. She wasn't rich and snobby, nor was she poor and heartless. She was a soul with a heart, always smiling and loving. She wasn't like a greaser girl; all slutty and whoring around. No, she was much better than that. She was loyal to me; didn't cheat, didn't fight about anything. I thought we were meant to be together.

I was wrong.

**What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you  
>What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok<br>I'm falling to pieces  
>I'm falling to pieces<strong>

Every day, I think about her. Everyone thinks I moved on, but I didn't. I hide the pain; I don't want sympathy. I don't want anyone asking, "Are you okay?" I can't take it. I'm not okay; a broken heart can't heal.

It's like Sandy didn't care about me. She only thought this was a game, and the end was a split heart. She's probably with someone else, better than me, while I'm here, grieving over her, making everything worse.

**They say bad things happen for a reason  
>But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding<br>'Coz she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
>And when a heart breaks<br>no it don't break even, even no.**

I know she's been gone for years, but I can't forget her. I could never do that. She was too amazing..and I let her slip away, with no words to say.

She had left me after that, no words left to say. No "I'm sorry". Instead, she gave me a straight forward "No", and a broken heart. I don't know if she even cares about me, or my love. I know she moved on; I didn't matter to her. My love wasn't enough. I didn't give enough to her.

**What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you  
>What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok<br>I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
>I'm falling to pieces, yeah<br>I'm falling to pieces  
>(One still in love<br>while the other one's leaving)  
>I'm falling to pieces,<br>(Cuz when a heart breaks  
>no it don't break even)<strong>

What am I supposed to do, when the best part of me was for her? I tried to give her everything; treat her like the princess she is. True I may be a greaser, but that doesn't mean I act like one. I'm happy with whom I am, and I always will be.

I still wonder every day if Sandy ever regretted this. She may have, she may have not. I know I will never know, because she moved away from me, from everything. I wonder if she ever stops, and thinks about me. I wonder if she ever thinks about what we used to be, or what we had.

I wonder if she never thought of it again. I wonder if she found another love, gave him her heart, and became lovers. I hate to think it, but I only wish best for her.

**You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain,  
>You took your suitcase, I took the blame.<br>Now I'm tryin making sense of what little remains, oh.  
>'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.<strong>

Any guy would be lucky to have her. I was happy she was mine for awhile, but she got away from me. She could steal any guys heart, and have him under her spell. I remember the day she was leaving. Eve had told me when she was off, and I was not ready to let go. Steve was by my side, but we shared no words. Just his presence was enough.

Eve had told me should be leaving the next day to Florida, to be far, far away from here. I knew no matter what, she was gone.

**I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,  
>Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,<br>'Coz I got time while she got freedom,  
>'Coz when a heart breaks<br>no it don't break, no it don't  
>break, no it don't break even no.<strong>

I still think about her every day, even when everyone told me to give her up. What they don't know is that I can't. I couldn't forget her, ever. Her smile, her laugh, her everything is locked into my mind, and won't escape..

From the moment she said no, I never stopped loving her. I hate to think of her every time, but it's hard not to. She was mine, but now she's gone.

**What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you  
>What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok<br>I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
>I'm falling to pieces, yeah<br>I'm falling to pieces,  
>(One still in love<br>while the other one's leaving)  
>I'm falling to pieces,<br>(Cuz when a heart breaks  
>no it don't break even)<strong>

**Oh, it don't break even, no**  
><strong>Oh, it don't break even, no<strong>  
><strong>Oh, It don't break even, no<strong>

I now know that a heart doesn't break even, no matter what. She broke mine, and it didn't break even. It was easy for her to leave, but for me, it was like losing the best thing I ever had.

I wish I could tell her one last thing...

"I never stopped loving you. _**Never."**_


End file.
